So
why is it then, that all I can do is smile when I think about my
life?
It's
just Jesus, honestly.
For
so long, I've been focused on achievement, on making something of
myself. And here I sit, with a bachelor's and a master's degree,
essentially having done all the “right things,” but still being
rejected from positions for having done too much. I don't mind
working any job, so it's frustrating when people tell me I am far too
overqualified to do this, or to do that. I just want to work with
kids. I don't care if I'm the actual teacher, or if I'm just an
assistant.
It's
such a simple desire that I have, but it's overshadowed by
technicalities and politics like everything else.
The
world is so backwards sometimes.
That's
what I love so much about Jesus. He is so straightforward, and with
Him, I know that my good is always at the forefront of what He wants
for me. He doesn't want to confuse me, or reduce me to my struggles.
He wants to know me, to love me, and to encourage me.
There
is peace in that, in knowing that even though I'm not where I want to
be in life, I'm exactly where He has me for a reason. I know I just
wrote about this a couple blogs ago, but it's just been so relevant
for me lately and so encouraging.
I
am so blessed by Him. I have a HUGE, loving family (who I miss so
crazy much), great friends who are always there for me, a job with
coworkers I love, a substituting job at a school with kids and
teachers that I absolutely adore, and so much more.
God
has been so gracious with me, even when I've done nothing to deserve
it. Mercy & grace are his specialties.
And,
even though this is technically supposed to be the blog for yesterday
(since I had wayyy too much fun lat night with a friend and his
family, and didn't have time to write), I want to end my blog with
today's psalm. It's psalm 23, and when I was thinking of what to
blog about, I immediately thought to read the psalm of the day just
to see if maybe it would resonate with what was on my heart for this
blog...and of course it did :)
Psalm
23 is a popular one, and for good reason. It talks about
surrendering our lives to God and knowing that His love will follow
us the rest of our lives. He is teaching me to let go, and let Him,
because He is faithful.
Psalm 23
A psalm of David.1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
In Christ,
Lilia
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