Day 56: What Matters

I love how God works.

Not all the time, if I'm honest, only because sometimes He works best when we are at our worst. But, I love when He takes our expectations and visions and shapes them to be glorifying to Him as opposed to ourselves.

So often, I build things up in my mind, only to be let down and wondering why God didn't show up. And then, maybe after some time, I see the beauty in what He was doing, even when I didn't notice at first.

My life has this story right now, a story of God taking my idea of what is “good” and “acceptable” and “successful,” and humbling me beyond belief.

In my younger years, I had plans.

I was going to be married by 24, so that I could have all of my kids before turning 30. Oh yeah, and don't forget the successful teaching career that I was going to have. I was also going to live in a house with a dog and be financially stable.

Obviously, I was wrong.

I'm 24, single, living with three roommates, and I had to give my dog up to my ex boyfriend's parents because living with them is the best option for him. Oh, and I work retail because I can't get a job doing what I truly love.

So, by my own standards that I've molded from my views on this world, I am a complete failure.

Thank God for reminding me of where I am by His standards.

He has shown me that I'm single because I'm not ready to be married, and because He needs to have my heart before anyone else even thinks of coming close to it.

I don't have children because if I can't love my first love, how would I ever be able to love a husband or have children?

I don't have a career, yet He has provided for me financially and has blessed me with a job, which is more than many others can say.

And He has given me wonderful people to raise my dog on a huge 6-acre farm where he is loved and taken care of.

Oh yeah, and He's saved me...from myself, bitterness, anger, loneliness, emptiness, etc.

I am where I am because He has me here. And, if there was ever a lesson on relying on Him, my life is it. I need to keep doing this, and even when I am weary, I need to remember that He is faithful and that His strength is perfect in my weakness. I say that all the time, but it's only because I need to learn to live that way.

So, if you have failed by the standards you have set for yourself, or whatever the world is telling you that you need to live by, make sure that you check where you stand with God. That is what really matters.

He is what really matters.

In Christ,

Lilia