Day 87: The One Who Overcomes

Today, John Mark started the series on depression and anxiety.

Wowzers...what a day.

Besides feeling incredibly blessed to have a pastor who is willing to share his story from the darkest parts of his life, from mild melancholy to full blow suicidal thoughts, I couldn't help but love the fact that we were going through the psalms.

I LOVE THE BOOK OF PSALMS.

And I won't shut up about it...nuh uh.

I know it seems to be all I've been talking about lately, or at least it feels that way, but the audacity of the psalms is something that I just love. There's no way around how real they are. And, at times, how desperate. These psalmists are rejoicing in the Lord, but they are also clawing at the reality of life, and the ruins that live in the consequences of sin.

They are happy, they are sad. They are peaceful, they are mad.

They are bipolar?

They are all of the above.

The incredible journey that one can take through the psalms is only matched by the amount of knowledge that you can learn about God's character. The bible is God's story, but I would argue that the psalms are where he lets us tell him our stories, in our happiness, and our pain...in our utmost joy for life, and in our deepest despair.

We went through various scriptures, but we rooted ourselves in Psalm 42:

Psalm 42

    For the director of music. A maskil[c] of the Sons of Korah.
 1 As the deer pants for streams of water,
   so my soul pants for you, my God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
   When can I go and meet with God?
3 My tears have been my food
   day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
   “Where is your God?”
4 These things I remember
   as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
   under the protection of the Mighty One[d]
with shouts of joy and praise
   among the festive throng.
 5 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
   for I will yet praise him,
   my Savior and my God.
 6 My soul is downcast within me;
   therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
   the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
7 Deep calls to deep
   in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
   have swept over me.
 8 By day the LORD directs his love,
   at night his song is with me—
   a prayer to the God of my life.
 9 I say to God my Rock,
   “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
   oppressed by the enemy?”
10 My bones suffer mortal agony
   as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
   “Where is your God?”
 11 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
   for I will yet praise him,
   my Savior and my God.



This entire psalm focuses around the questions found in v. 5 and v. 11:
Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?

I thought through these questions as JM gave his sermon. I thought about whatever it is I'm going through now, looking at what causes my soul to be downcast, and what enables depression and anxiety to gain a hold of me.
JM noted that these questions are important because they help us to get to the root of what is really going on. He contends that anxiety and depression are merely symptoms to some deeper issue that is causing us to suffer.
Fortunately, as of late, I haven't been dealing with any debilitating issues of anxiety or depression. True, I am always thinking about what my job situation will hold and all of that, but in the grand scheme of things, I am not struggling with this.
But, I know people that are.
A few of my close friends have dealt with issues of anxiety and depression, and so as I learn about how it affects me, I am also learning about how it affects them.
Focusing on Psalm 42 really helped me to narrow down not only what to ask myself, instead of blaming God for everything wrong in life, but has also allowed me to see that even in the midst of pain...David's response is to turn back and praise for God is our savior.
We had the opportunity to pray over our brothers and sisters who were struggling with crippling depression and anxiety, and after I prayed for a man I never met before (Joel), I stood alone, listening to the worship music.
I began to cry.
Not the cute, “oh my gosh she's having a deep emotional moment” cry, but the “sobbing in my hands hoping no one sees me” cry.
And here's the kicker: this was not a sad cry.
I was crying because I have come to know, specifically in the past year, that God is the healer..the ultimate physician. I have seen him heal, and bring people out of demoralizing darkness.
And my only response was to cry. It was the only way I felt I could sufficiently express my gratitude for what God has done in my life, and the lives of my friends.
I look forward to learning more about these issues, and the rest of the series.
I'm sure more crying is to come, but with that comes healing, renewal, and the mercy and grace of Jesus.
Praise to the one who overcomes, and helps us to realize that we can, too.



In Christ,






Lilia