D.L. Moody once said that out of 100 men, one will read the bible and 99 will read the Christian.
And he's right, much to my lament.
I
wish it was easier to be like Jesus in the midst of chaos,
disappointment, and impatience. In trials, I wish I was the Christian
that 99 men would read and see Christ in.
Being a Christian is so much more than appearances; it's actively
following Christ and walking worthy of the call that He has placed in
our lives. But, along with that, it's impossible to forget the reality
that even though following Christ is so much more than what we do, and
involves the free gift of grace, we are still looked at as a
representative of our savior. It is a fact that we are created in the
image of Christ, but it's also an image that is difficult to be in,
especially to people who don't know Christ.
At work, I've become such a miserable person to be around. I hate my
job, capitalism, and consumerism, but this is America…and in some way,
shape, or form, I am not only taking part in this kind of culture, but I
am promoting it at my job and supporting it in that way. So, I find
myself not being salt and light at my work place, but instead being that
person who is so bitter (and dare I say ungrateful) for the job that I
have. It's been difficult lately because I know that this is hurting my
witness because I'm so checked out at work that I am not living out the
gospel of Christ.
In this despair, I need to remember one key truth: if I had
everything together, there would be no significant need for a savior.
I can't keep running around thinking that I need to be a perfect
person, and that as a Christian I must be superhuman in my compassion
and mercy, etc. I need to realize my own need for a savior before I can
show people how they need one.
Now, I'm not saying that this is an excuse. It's merely an
observation that I've made. I need people to see the good and bad of
me, but to always show them that I rely solely on the Lord in the midst
of it all. I need to fight to keep my mind and thoughts in the word, so
that when I am at work and in an environment that I don't like, I can
make it through simply because I know that it is what God has for me
now.
I am so ready to move on from this place, and to find something new…but then I remember that I'm
not God.
He is teaching me that I need to wait on Him in all aspects of life,
and that I need to wait well, working in whatever capacity He has for me
until I am fit to move on.
Like a loving father, I know He wants what's best for me and His word
tells me that. So I will wait, knowing that truth in love outweighs
everything else.
In Christ,
Lilia
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