Day 6: To Love A Child

 

When I think of my passion, I think of teaching. Before I knew the Lord, I had all of my plans set. I was going to get my degree in English, a Masters in Teaching, and become a high school English teacher. I had direction, determination, and desire.

And I managed to do all of that, except for the last part.

So, here I am, working a job in retail.

All dressed up, in a sense, with nowhere to go.

And, although I'm finding it difficult to remain at my current job (which I'm sure will become a blog unto itself), I'm more importantly noticing that although I believe God's calling on my life remains the same (to be a teacher), I feel like He is shifting my direction, and I don't know how I feel about it.

But mostly, I'm excited.

When I was earning my Master's degree I was so sure of what I wanted, and who I wanted to work with: high school students. I reasoned that my brain wouldn't be able to handle breaking concepts down for elementary aged students, and that anyone who considered teaching in middle school should be canonized as a saint.

So, of course, here God is creating a desire to work with children in my heart.

He would.

And He has.

Before going to Haiti, I never considered really working with younger children. I had toyed with the idea of serving in the children's ministry at Solid Rock, but I never felt true discernment from God on that subject, so of course...I put it off.

How relevant, then, was Haiti for me. I was able to enjoy the experience of working with children without any filter from my actual life. I encountered raw poverty, and saw resilience and wisdom in those children that I rarely saw from juniors and seniors that I have taught in the states. I saw a beautiful innocence that is calloused by the time I meet high school students, their years of discovery and wonder having already given way to texting, gossip, and Farmville.

Today, at the 6:30 am gathering for Seven, on the West Side, the subject of prayer was children. We prayed for children in the city, the children at Solid Rock, and the children on our hearts (as for me, I prayed for my siblings, students, and children in Haiti). We also prayed for foster parents, teachers, and parents who are to be living examples of Christ to any child they encounter.

Of course, the scripture that Bucky shared was this:

“Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 18:14

And how amazing is this scripture, and this concept? We are not to hinder the children from the kingdom of heaven because the kingdom belongs to such as these! While we were in Haiti, one of the most powerful experiences was watching the children in Sunday school pray. They offered to pray for my family, and did so with full expectation that the Lord would not only hear, but listen.

And, although all of the thoughts in this entry seem to have come together so nicely, it wasn't until I arrived home at nearly 11pm tonight that I discovered what I would write about. And here's how it happened:

Three days ago, my dear friend Meg gave me an envelope with what I assumed was a letter inside. I was surprised and excited by this thoughtful woman, and placed the envelope in my purse. Being the busy, and easily sidetracked, girl that I am, the letter sat there for three days, and although I wanted to read it, I never quite got around to it.

Thank the Lord, because it confirmed what I was feeling today, which is that God is teaching me to love the little children with His heart. I've had it in my mind that I could only relate to teaching high school aged kids, and that it was a stretch with middle schoolers, but the Lord has created in me a new heart for loving on children.

I discovered it in Haiti, and I am cultivating it here by working in the Children's ministry. I am so enamored with what the Lord is teaching me in this area and how He has completely softened my heart to the little ones that are so ready and hungry for His word and love. And, if this is not enough, He has given me a strong desire to one day be a mother, which is something that I had always thought of more as an obligation than a joy.

As I mentioned before, I was always the girl with direction and goals. I was the girl who wasn't going to let a guy, or relationship, “get in the way” of what I needed to do. I was independent, or the other word for it...selfish. God has freed me of that way of thinking, and although He encourages me to follow the passions that He has given me, He has also shown me the beauty in children and has created an honest desire in me to not only be a mother, but to first be a wife.

Even writing that in a blog is difficult. The thought of being someone's wife has always been on the fringe of my thinking, and never quite central in my thoughts. But, now that the Lord has instilled such a deep love for children on my heart, the thought of being a wife is never far behind. And, although these desires are deep within my heart and soul, I trust God with them, knowing that His ways are higher than mine.

When we were in Haiti, a little girl asked us why we loved children. My beautiful friend Nicole answered that we love children because we admire their child like faith, which Jesus said that every person who follows Him should have.

And that really is what God is teaching me...not only to love children because they are a most precious creation, and because one day I hope to be a mother and a wife, but to love them because their faith in God is the type of faith that He desires from all of us.

In Christ,

Lilia