Day 58: Desire

Today I read about Hezekiah. FINALLY, a man who seeks what God would have him do:

"This is what Hezekiah did throughout Judah, doing what was good and right and faithful before the LORD his God. In everything that he undertook in the service of God’s temple and in obedience to the law and the commands, he sought his God and worked wholeheartedly. And so he prospered." 2 Chronicles 31: 20-21

This was an encouragement. There is a hope, as always, with God and what He can do for us and with us.

My day started off terribly, but here I am, in my onesie/footie pajamas thankful for the hope that I can overcome anything and everything. I can do the impossible through my God that gives me strength.

Be encouraged by Hezekiah and his willingness to seek God and work wholeheartedly. I pray for that kind of willingness and obedience to God, and for a desire to know Him more.

God is teaching me that I need Him in every aspect of my life, and I have to make the choice to choose him continually. Like a relationship between any two people, I have to consciously make an effort to pour into my desire to know God (through His word, prayer, fellowship, etc.) or it will fall apart like heartbreak between two lovers.

I want to hunger, thirst, and yearn for Him. Pray that I always choose to satisfy these desires instead of whatever desires the world sets before me.

In Christ,

Lilia

Day 57: There Is A Place

When I first came to Oregon, I wasn't sure what to think. I knew I was stepping out of everything “normal” to me, yet I was so excited to be on my own. But, of course, there was always a desire to be somewhere that I felt comfortable, surrounded by people who knew me. I was blessed to find that in my friends that I made early on, and at the house of my dear friend Kristen, whose amazing family still invites me to Thanksgiving dinner even though we've been out of college for a few years.

These are the people who keep me grounded, and rooted in love.

What a blessing.

But, my friends have grown, gotten married, had children, and essentially moved on. Not in a bad way, but in a natural progression that my life hasn't taken yet. And, I can't go to Klamath Falls whenever I want, so of course it's disappointing to also miss out on that “family” that I have there.

Recently, I found a family in Haiti, and have been so blessed by each of them in my life. It's rare to connect with people so quickly, and to know that I could call on any of them for prayer or...anything, really.

But, tonight, a new “place” was cemented in my mind. In a warm living room, on cozy chairs and couches, I spent the night at the house of Mark and Brenda Mavromatis for a small get together for our friend, Chris, who is heading to Haiti in January.

I have been going to Mark and Brenda's house-church for about four months, and only when I wasn't working, so maybe only a handful of times. But, I immediately felt that feeling of family, that feeling of being comfortable.

I found another place, and the best part is that God completely led me there.

There is a place, now, that I know I can share my burdens and be refreshed by brothers and sisters. I know that Mark will share his wisdom and humor, and that Brenda will always have a word of encouragement for me, coupled with her own wisdom, and hugs!

I am not alone in this blessing, as I know that so many people have been poured into by these two. But, I'm so happy to know them. And, not only are they a blessing, but so are the people of our house-church. As I mentioned earlier, I haven't been there long, but I feel like I have.

And that is what the family of God is, after all. We are the Church, with a capital C. It goes beyond a place because the church lives in relationships with God and each other.

There is a place where I have found comfort, fellowship, and family.

I am refreshed, and I couldn't thank God more.

In Christ,

Lilia

Day 56: What Matters

I love how God works.

Not all the time, if I'm honest, only because sometimes He works best when we are at our worst. But, I love when He takes our expectations and visions and shapes them to be glorifying to Him as opposed to ourselves.

So often, I build things up in my mind, only to be let down and wondering why God didn't show up. And then, maybe after some time, I see the beauty in what He was doing, even when I didn't notice at first.

My life has this story right now, a story of God taking my idea of what is “good” and “acceptable” and “successful,” and humbling me beyond belief.

In my younger years, I had plans.

I was going to be married by 24, so that I could have all of my kids before turning 30. Oh yeah, and don't forget the successful teaching career that I was going to have. I was also going to live in a house with a dog and be financially stable.

Obviously, I was wrong.

I'm 24, single, living with three roommates, and I had to give my dog up to my ex boyfriend's parents because living with them is the best option for him. Oh, and I work retail because I can't get a job doing what I truly love.

So, by my own standards that I've molded from my views on this world, I am a complete failure.

Thank God for reminding me of where I am by His standards.

He has shown me that I'm single because I'm not ready to be married, and because He needs to have my heart before anyone else even thinks of coming close to it.

I don't have children because if I can't love my first love, how would I ever be able to love a husband or have children?

I don't have a career, yet He has provided for me financially and has blessed me with a job, which is more than many others can say.

And He has given me wonderful people to raise my dog on a huge 6-acre farm where he is loved and taken care of.

Oh yeah, and He's saved me...from myself, bitterness, anger, loneliness, emptiness, etc.

I am where I am because He has me here. And, if there was ever a lesson on relying on Him, my life is it. I need to keep doing this, and even when I am weary, I need to remember that He is faithful and that His strength is perfect in my weakness. I say that all the time, but it's only because I need to learn to live that way.

So, if you have failed by the standards you have set for yourself, or whatever the world is telling you that you need to live by, make sure that you check where you stand with God. That is what really matters.

He is what really matters.

In Christ,

Lilia

Day 55: We Three Kings

There I go again, almost falling asleep without blogging.

The shame!

Today was a really mellow day. I had a calm start to the day, and work was swell. I didn't really have any huge epiphanies, but I did get to spend my evening with some especially talented ladies...or should I say, “kings.”

Yes, for my roommate Alana's Christmas CD, she asked our friend Whitney and I to accompany her on the classic carol, “We Three Kings.”

We're all familiar with the story behind the carol, of the wise men who had a dream and followed the star that guided them to the birthplace of our savior, Jesus. Much abounds in various discussion of these wise men, or magi, or whatever else they've been called throughout the years, but the central idea is the same: these men came to honor the birth of Jesus.

The true meaning of this holiday season, and us singing this carol, is to shed light on the fact that Jesus was born. That's right, GOD took on human form all as a part of His plan to bring us salvation.

If that isn't enough reason to celebrate, I don't know what is.

And, sometimes, it's important to remember that it's enough to sing, to praise, to worship Him as king. I think that too many times we focus on doing so much that we forget how easy it is to just lift a song up to the Lord. In your car, in the shower, in front of thousands of people, don't be afraid to worship the Lord, your God, in song!!

God is showing me why the little song we sang is important, and why all the rest of the songs for this season are important. These songs mark the beginning of Jesus' earthly life, and begins the human story of our salvation.

It's a beautiful thing, and as I mix this song together and lay the finishing harmonies and tracks, I need to remember that God is glorified in all of it, and that He loves when we just take the time to praise Him.

In Christ,

Lilia

Day 54: I Am Israel

My daily reading time has been so difficult lately. It's not for lack of time, but because it's tough to read over and over and OVER again how Israel failed, and how they turned away from God. Why is it so difficult, I wonder?

Maybe because when I look at these stories of Israel, I see myself.

I'm worrying so much about so many things, even though we JUST heard a message (not even 2-3 weeks ago) that told me not to worry, I am falling by the wayside far too often.

I think about where I'm going to live next year, and how I need to find a job that will make me more money so that I can do more than live from paycheck to paycheck.

And even though I am reminded in the word over and over and OVER again that God is provider, and has a plan, I still doubt.

I am the Israelite.

I build my own gods to meet my desires, and worship idols that the world gives me. When will I stop seeking the fake faithfulness of the world, and wait for the genuine glory that God wants through my life?

When, Israel...when?

When, Lilia...when?

God is teaching me to see myself for what I really am, from time to time, and is calling me to bear through what I sometimes find “boring,” to realize that the story of Israel is my story. The story of God calling his people to redemption is the story that He has in my life.

My good friend Cynthia sent me a verse today, and it couldn't have been more encouraging. It's Matthew 11: 28-30. Look it up, and be blessed. It is where Jesus tells us to go to Him, all of us who are burdened and heavy laden and He will give us rest.

I need that rest so much, and God is teaching me that although I am the Israelite in my doubt and my impatience, I am also the Israelite that is called to be a part of those that He has chosen.

I am redeemed, and I want to live like it.

Set your sight on the Lord, the hope of glory.

In Christ,

Lilia

Day 53: Blameless

This morning, my friend Nicole did what she always does: she updated her Facebook with a status about God. If I ever need encouragement, her Facebook is one that I go to specifically because I know there will be truth all over it!

Today, her status talked about reading Proverb 2, so I took it to heart and looked over it. Of course, I was blessed, and remembered how this proverb had always been one of my favorites. Over the course of the day, I didn't really think too much about it, but then on the way home from the airport (where I went to pick up my wonderful roommate, Kelsey), I started thinking of it again.

Lately, I've had a few people in my life who have needed encouragement, and advice, badly. Each time I have tried my best to direct them back to the Lord, but I always felt like there was something missing in what I was telling them. Then, thinking about Proverb 2, I remembered the simplest way (in my opinion) to follow, and be like, Jesus:

Be blameless.

While I was trying to counsel people who have been torn to pieces by people who they sincerely care about, and who are also believers, I neglected to share with them the plain fact that even though they may be wronged in a multitude of ways, we are called to be blameless. The Lord honors those whose way's are blameless before Him, and Proverb 2 helped me to remember that, when it says

“For the LORD gives wisdom;
   from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
7 He holds success in store for the upright,
   he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
8 for he guards the course of the just
   and protects the way of his faithful ones.

 9 Then you will understand what is right and just
   and fair—every good path.
10 For wisdom will enter your heart,
   and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
11 Discretion will protect you,
   and understanding will guard you.

God is a shield to those whose walk is blameless; praise Him. I realized that I needed not only to encourage my fellow brothers & sisters, but to remind them that God is not only a Healer, Comforter, and Savior, but He is also a shield for us when we are following Him and keeping our ways free from blame.

God is teaching, and challenging me to do this within my own life. Recently, I have discovered some built up distress that I have with people in my life, and some not-so-nice things I sometimes want to say. But then I remember mercy, and grace, and now the idea of being “blameless.”
God doesn't make it easy for us, but He makes it clear.

Love the Lord your God, and keep your ways blameless. He is honored when we live as sacrifices (Romans 12:1).


In Christ,
Lilia

Day 52: The Plank

There's nothing like realizing that there is something so wrong with you, and/or your way of thinking.

Today, I realized just how much this is true for me.

At church this morning, the message was about a passage most of us are familiar with in Matthew, where Jesus challenges us to remove the plank from our own eye before worrying about a speck of dust in our brother's eye. The concept behind this statement is so simple, yet it's something that has plagued me for years.

It is a constant challenge for me to check myself before I check someone else. AND, not only is this difficult for me, but I was also challenged by what is said in Matthew 7:1 where Jesus says not to judge, lest I myself be judged. However, the insight that Ian gave on this verse was interesting, as he noted that the judgement here means that we are not called to judge the essence of a person.

However, we are still called to weigh the actions of others, and to keep each other accountable.

This is when I discovered that so often, I am guilty of condemning the person instead of their actions. What I see is a person who is unrelenting, unrepentant, etc., and so I have no problem judging them. But, the problem is that I never realized that instead of judging solely what they were doing, or the sin, I was judging who they were as a person, or their essence.

It made me sick to think that I was guilty of doing this.

It was even worse when I realized that this happens on a fairly regular basis.

God taught me today to recognize this failure in my life, and is calling me to overcome it....which is a scary thing, mostly because I wasn't even aware how much it was affecting my life. But, that's what this blog is for...transparency, and an understanding of what God is doing in my life and trying to teach me.

Here goes nothing.

In Christ,

Lilia