Day 69: To Love Is To Be Vulnerable

The realization of prayer is a frightening thing sometimes.

It's frightening, because...as sad as it is, it seems that when we pray most of the time, we don't really expect to be heard.

Yes, that's right. I think anyone who has followed Christ can admit to praying, at some point, without full trust that God would listen, or even hear.

Lately, God has just shown me over and over again how my prayers have been answered. I have had the chance to see people reaching for God, and trying to change their lives, all while God is reshaping mine.

The other day, I saw a C.S. Lewis quote on a friend's FB wall, and it just resonated with me. It was a quote I had heard before, but I hadn't heard it since before I began to ask God to change something about me.

I asked God to make me vulnerable. I know I previously blogged about this, but I never thought it possible. I never really thought that I could let go of what people though of me, or that I would be able to let people see me in my weakness.

And, although there are still times I struggle with being vulnerable, I can say that there is a marked difference in my disposition when it comes to this. In most of my relationships, I have learned to lay everything out. Especially in situations where I am dealing with someone I care about in a romantic way, I have found this to be undeniably true.

In the past, I always focused on staying one step ahead. Now, I just focus on the person who has my affection, aiming to show them Christ's love and admiration of them through my own life.

So, with this quote stuck in my head, I set out to craft something that would help me to capture this quote in an authentic way for me. Since God was teaching me to be vulnerable, I threw myself into art to see what would come out, and I'm going to post the result below.

It was easy enough to make, just using some stretched canvas, decoupage, computer printouts, and old pages from Nabokov's Pale Fire.

I love what it turned into, and I'm excited for the reminder not only of what God has called me to be, in my vulnerability, but the fact that He has been faithful in making me into a woman unafraid of being vulnerable.

In Christ,

Lilia