Day 33: Walk Humbly With Your God

Being sick is extremely humbling.

You are limited in what you can do, and sometimes you even need to ask for help or let someone else take care of you.

You are taken out of “invincible” mode, and sometimes that awareness is overwhelming.

Today, I woke up with a fever, and just felt miserable. I didn't want to do anything but sleep, but I also didn't want to face my roommates finding out I was sick.

I hate being weak, and I hate seeming like I need other people to take care of me. I didn't want them to worry, or have to take time out of their lives. Of course, I knew, that they would do it anyway because they are my friends. Regardless, I still didn't want to trouble them with what I was feeling.

Pride is such a tough thing to kick.

I had to call in to work sick, a first for me (at this job), and then I began to think of what this could be. It could be the flu, just a fever, and then it hit me.

Uh oh, it could be malaria. After returning from Haiti, I forgot to fill my prescription for the last two pills, and so I only took four of the required six.

I felt nauseous, more from my mistake than from my actual illness.

But then I felt a peace from the Lord, an assurance that whatever happened, His good would be done.

I went to urgent care, where they couldn't do much, but managed to make an appointment with a physician for tomorrow, even though most doctors were booked months out.

I know it seems like a small victory, to get an appointment so soon at such late notice, but I know it was a gift from God. He knew I was stressed out, but helped me keep it together and to find help.

I don't like being sick, but I am seeing God in a new light as my guide and healer. I have been sick before, of course, but I don't think it's ever been so humbling for some reason.

God is teaching me that His plan is good, and that I can trust Him, even in the midst of sickness or the unknown and uncertain in my life.

This whole post may sound a little wacky, because this fever has me a little loopy, but if I've learned anything from this experience, it's that walking humbly with God (Micah 6:8) can happen in various ways, even if you're just a sick girl who is gulping tea while wrapped up in a blanket on the couch.

In Christ,

Lilia