Day 51: A Miracle

As I wait for news on a certain situation in my life, I've stopped to think about times in my life where I've felt rejected.

In middle school, a falling out I had with a few girls that I played basketball with had me feeling rejected from the rest of the team.

In high school, a guy I had dated for two weeks cheated on me with a friend of mine because I wouldn't sleep with him. I felt rejected because I wasn't what he wanted.

And now, it's not unusual for me to get rejected from jobs. Out of thirty six applications that I sent out for teaching, I received one interview.

So why talk about this? Why rejection?

Because, even in light of all the rejection I've faced in my life, it is nothing compared with the rejection that Christ faced by so many – believers and unbelievers alike.

And now, I see a dear friend of mine rejecting Christ.

And I don't know what to do. Thank God for prayer, and fellowship. A wise woman named Cynthia told me to rely fully on the spirit. At first, I was confused as to how that related to what I should do for a friend that I felt was losing faith.

And then she explained that the spirit is what convicts, not me.

Naturally, she was right.

Instead of worrying about what I was saying, I needed to worry about praying that the spirit would convict my friend in an immense way.

God is teaching me that He is able to work miracles, and that's what I am praying for. He has been rejected by many, but has changed the hearts of many more. I am praying that my friend sees God's heart and realizes that walking away from Him will not only lead to death, but will cause an emptiness that will never cease to exist.

I am praying for a miracle.

In Christ,

Lilia

Day 50: Water From Your Own Well

Recent events have led me to wonder what the motivation behind certain actions are. In life, we tire of certain things because we are human. In a way, it's natural. Sooner than later, happiness fades and gives way to new desires and hopes. In and of itself, there is nothing wrong with that.

But what about something that God expressly talks about? How do we turn our backs on what He is saying, and think that we will be fine?

Romans 6:23 is clear when it says that the wages of sin are death.

It doesn't matter how much we rationalize.

It doesn't matter how much we want things to be different.

It doesn't matter how unhappy we are.

What matters is what God says matters.

End of story.

Is this harsh? Maybe. But, I am aware of what it feels like to walk away from God's truth and what He says. I am familiar with the scars that come from that, and the deep emotional turmoil that comes not only from walking away from God myself, but from leading others astray who have know idea who He is to begin with.

Thinking on all of this, I remembered a sermon that I absolutely love from last year. It's entitled, “Water from your own well,” and focuses on what God has to say about sexual immorality and sex inside the context of marriage.

PLEASE CHECK IT OUT HERE:  http://www.ajesuschurch.org/topic?id=778&c=1190

Amidst everything that I am observing lately, I wanted to share this message to give hope to the broken and to encourage the faithful.

Although everything may seem like it's falling apart, be encouraged that God's word heals and that He is in the business of fixing people, and relationships, and marriages.

I pray that no matter what, you don't give up.

Never lose faith.

In Christ,

Lilia

Day 49: To Serve

All I want to do is serve.

It's so unnatural to me; it's really a foreign concept.

But such is usually the case when lives are changed. I know that God has created a new heart in me, and that serving is an integral part of that. After all, He came not to be served, but to serve.

In essence, following Christ is being a servant.

It's an amazing desire to have, but I sometimes find it difficult. I tend to separate servanthood into different categories, tossing some out without realizing that it still means something to God. The example I think of most is my job in retail. I am literally helping, and serving, people, but it's so hard to reconcile that with working for the glory of God's kingdom. God is showing me that serving here is advancing the kingdom, even though it's not in the traditional sense.

But, when I show people love, or mercy, or when I offer praise, I am serving God and showing the light of Jesus within me. Sharing Jesus in retail IS a way to advance the kingdom for his glory. Praise the Lord!

Lately, my attitude has been improving for the most part, and I think it's because God is teaching me that I am His wherever I am, and in whatever I am doing.

Being a servant is not only for Sundays, or for this ministry or that ministry.

Being a servant is a lifestyle, and God is showing me that it can reveal itself in so many ways.

I am thankful for a God who leads by example, and I look forward to serving Him all the days of my life.

In Christ,

Lilia

Day 48: He is So Good to Us

Today was a long day.

It started at 3:47 am, and is now going to end somewhere near midnight. Within these hours, I have spent time thinking about how good the Lord has been to me.

I had planned on writing this blog on how I feel like the Lord is putting servanthood on my heart, but I know that first I need to say this.

He is good to me.

It never gets old; it never fades.

Today, as I was driving to, or home from, work (I can't remember since I've been so tired all day!) I spent a good amount of time reflecting on how blessed I am. God has provided in great ways, and in ways that I never expected or asked for. I find that, so often, I am quick to see what I have asked for that God hasn't given me instead of relishing what He has given to me, which is usually so much better than what I had envisioned for myself.

So, with that, I just wanted this blog to share God's goodness. He is good to us because He loves us, created us, and delights in us.

When I was in Haiti, a great man of God, and dear friend, Jeff Hartley asked me to sing a song I thought I hadn't heard before. But, when he played it for me, memories came flooding back. I knew this song from so long ago, and it brought me to my knees all over again.

So I wanted to end this blog with that song. It's called “You Are So Good to Me.”

More than anything, listen to the words. This song is more than beautiful words strung together over a melody; it is God's truth for us to hear.

YOU ARE SO GOOD TO ME:

http://soundcloud.com/liliaikawai/you-are-so-good-to-me

In Christ,

Lilia

Day 47: The Tattoo

On the inside of my left wrist, a tattoo lives. In hand scrawled cursive, it is a glorified scar that reads, “surrender.” It is my first, and only, tattoo...and, I love it. Now, it's not the most decorative, or fancy, tattoo. It also isn't perfect, and sometimes I wish I had spent more time checking out other shops before having it done at the shop that I visited. But, for me, the fact that it's not perfect is a good reminder that nothing in life is.

And it's a good reminder that I am not perfect, either.

I decided to get this tattoo because, in my life, surrendering is a hard thing to do. I am keen on being strong, and overcoming whatever comes my way. To surrender to God was a foreign thing for me, in any aspect of my life. I didn't want to surrender my heart, emotions, actions.

I wanted to keep it all to myself; I wanted desperately to be strong enough.

And so, when I first listened to Adie Camp's song sufficient, I was brought to my knees. Her song centers around 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

These verses are taken from the context of Paul telling about a thorn that is in his side from a messenger of Satan. Paul asks the Lord three times to take it away, but is told the above verses, which essentially is to rely on God's strength in His weakness.

These verses spoke to me, and really have become my life verses. So, I tattooed “surrender” on my wrist, facing me, to remind me that in my weakness, His strength is made perfect, and when I surrender, I can fully feel His presence.

So, if you're reading this blog and you're wondering how you will get through this life that so often brings out our weaknesses, remember that you can boast in your weaknesses because Christ's strength will rest upon you. We can't do everything on our own, but we are strong in Him.

In Christ,

Lilia

Day 46: Stability

Yesterday, I blogged about worry and how I felt blessed because I didn't feel like I was worried about too much.

And then, today, it hit me...in a way.

Although I'm not constantly worried over this, I find that out of everything in my life, I seem to crave it the most:

Stability.

I find myself thinking of my future occupation, and relationships, and family (Lord willing). My time is occupied with thoughts of sending children to college, buying a house, creating a home that is both of place of rest and stability.

Growing up, stability was something I always had. I knew that I was taken care of, and I never had to worry about much.

Flash forward to my trip to Haiti, and an experience meeting people who didn't know what stability felt like. After seeing temporary homes and shelters, and watching children grow up in this way, my heart craved for stability even more.

I need to learn that there is stability in Christ. And that no matter how much my world is rocked in this life, I am rooted in something beyond myself and beyond my understanding.

Worldly stability is something that I crave, but Godly stability is something that I have through Jesus Christ. I am learning to build a foundation in that stability so that I can stand even if everything around me falls.

In Christ,

Lilia

Day 45: Treasures & Worry

The sermon on the mount is just that, a sermon, a continual teaching from Jesus to the masses covering topics from who will inherit the kingdom of Heaven, to who will see God, to issues like idolatry and faith.

Through our series of salt & light, we have been digging through this sermon to unveil what Jesus is really trying to teach us, as opposed to the oftentimes cliché version of the story.

Tonight, the sermon from JM was focused on Matthew 6:19-34, and within these verses are some of my favorite words from God.

In verse 19, Jesus discusses not storing up your treasures on the earth, but storing them up in the kingdom of heaven. As usual, JM shared some interesting insight and clarification for this passage. Although we most often read it as storing heavenly treasures up for us in heaven in the future (which, essentially means delaying our gratification and greed from now until later, meaning that we are still being greedy which is definitely not what Jesus is saying), he noted that we should see it as storing up treasures in God, right now. In Matthew's gospel, he often substituted the Kingdom of Heaven for the Kingdom of God, because often people didn't say God's name out loud because it was so holy. As a result, you can also read this passage as storing your treasures in God (instead of Kingdom of Heaven). Looking at it in that way enables us to realize that we are not delaying greed, but we are instead focusing on storing our treasures in God. And by treasures, we clearly see that they aren't material, because that is not what God wants. But, here, treasures can be how well we invest in our relationship with the Lord.

In addition to the idea of storing treasure in God, and investing in Him, right now, another part of the sermon that struck me was in v. 24, where the idea of serving two masters is discussed. The word says that no one can serve two masters, and that we cannot serve God and money or “mammon.” I never thought of it before, but JM mentioned how it doesn't say that we “shouldn't” worship God and money, but it says that we cannot; it is, in fact, impossible. So often, we are slaves to our circumstances and our desire for money controls us. It was amazing to sit there and think about how many times I am caught up in what I want, and am so selfishly concerned with my desires in this world.

What if I took that time and invested it in the Lord, and my relationship with him? What if I gave more instead of spending it on myself, and lavishing on my already blessed world?

I've never felt so convicted of neglecting the obvious blessings that God has given me. I need to be a better steward of all I have, and realize that I cannot serve two masters.

And, the last part of the sermon that hit me over the head, was concerned with v. 33 and 34 which talk about seeking the Kingdom of God first and all things will be added unto us. And then, v. 34 discusses that we are not to worry about what is happening in life, just as the birds and the flowers. JM was quick to say that God doesn't use the illustrations of the birds and the flowers to show that we are going to be safe and secure like birds and flowers, but He uses those illustrations to show how free from anxiety these creatures are. You never see a stressed out flower, or a stressed out bird (naturally), and so God gives us those illustrations to see that if these creations are basking in the love of God, how much more should we be as well?

JM also tied this in with the issues of anxiety and worry that we talked about, noting that the vast majority of anxiety is rooted in idolatry, meaning that what we worry about is what we most likely worship. And this may happen without us even realizing it.

I thought about it in my own life, and realized that sometimes I have worshipped the value of my job, or of my future relationship. I have worried about work so much that sometimes it is all I think about..and it becomes a false god, or an idol.

I've done similar things with my hope for a future relationship, and the real burden that comes with hoping for something that seems so far from happening, and so hopeless.

But that is where He is faithful, and I need to remember the flowers and the birds, and to rest in knowing that He is God and He is good.

JM left us with two questions, and so I leave them with you:

What are you worrying about?

What do you treasure?

Ask yourself these question, and set your eyes on Jesus. Translate your treasures to an investment in your relationship with God, now, and free yourself from anxiety.

Don't let your worry become your worship. Anxiety is not worthy of praise.

That is reserved for the God of our universe, earth, city, and lives.

In Christ,

Lilia